Domestic Partnerships

I spent some time yesterday putting the final touches on an article about gay marriage. After I finished the article, I decided to tackle my next chore- replacing the light switch in the family room with a dimmer. I pictured a quick task of turning off the circuit breaker and swapping out the switches. It wasn't until I actually went to turn off the breaker that I realized I didn't have a partner to holler from the family room once the light went out!  Then I had an inspiration. I played iTunes through my phone and a portable player that I plugged into an outlet in the family room. I turned Rosanne Cash (my “partner”) up loud and smugly went down to the basement and turned off the circuit breaker labeled- family room. Rosanne was silenced and I came upstairs ready to tackle the switch. Unfortunately, the ceiling light was still on! Obviously, the circuit breaker controlled the outlet, but not the ceiling fixture.

So, I went back downstairs to try other breakers. This time, given the number of breakers, I tried two likely candidates. Back upstairs, the light was still glowing. Back downstairs. By now I was exceeding my capacity to remember which breakers I already tried, so I began checking them off on the list on the panel door. Two more breakers. Back up. No luck. Back down, two more. I've got a big panel. At first, I was trying circuits in the family room locale and ruling out the stove and the barn, and more recently-added circuits, etc. Back up. Back down. Then it occurred to me that I had yet to turn off the lights in the basement below the very spot I was trying to control. So, smugly (it doesn't take much does it?) I turned off each breaker in the panel until I darkened the basement. Then stumbling upstairs to swap the switch (I failed to take a flashlight with me), I found the light was still on!

Back downstairs, this time with a flashlight, I tried all the breakers one at a time, including one that was unlabeled, which, of course turned out to be correct, proving the old adage, it will be the last one you try! The switch replacement went without incident, except that I had to go back downstairs three times to get the right size screwdriver. I'm resting now in the family room admiring my work, having  labeled the correct breaker, taken some Advil, and iced my knees.  Now, all I have to do is raise the light by removing some of the chain links while keeping it level.

Wish I had a domestic partner!

Geoff Grant
Valentine's Day
February 14, 2012